The Gift of Giving Feedback

It is officially the season of gift giving.

We spend weeks thinking about what to buy. We stress over whether it is thoughtful enough, useful enough, or personal enough. We wrap things carefully, hoping the recipient feels seen when they open it.

And yet, inside most organizations, one of the most valuable gifts rarely gets given at all.

Feedback.

Not the annual, rushed, once-a-year kind. Not the vague “you’re doing great” drive-by comment. But real, timely, honest feedback that helps people grow, adjust, and feel confident in their work.

If performance management feels hard, awkward, or uncomfortable in your organization, you are not alone. Most leaders were never taught how to do this well. Many inherited systems that feel more like compliance exercises than meaningful conversations.

But here is the truth we see again and again in our work.

Good feedback is not criticism.

It is not punishment.

It is not something to avoid until things go wrong.

It is a gift.

Why Feedback Feels So Hard

Let’s start with some honesty.

Most leaders avoid feedback because they are trying to be kind.

They do not want to hurt feelings.

They do not want to create tension.

They do not want to say the wrong thing.

HR teams see this play out constantly. Managers come to them after the fact saying, “I thought they knew,” or “I didn’t want to make it a big deal,” or “I was waiting for the review cycle.”

The problem is not a lack of care. It is a lack of clarity.

When feedback is delayed, watered down, or skipped entirely, employees are left guessing. Guessing how they are doing. Guessing what matters. Guessing whether their work is meeting expectations.

That uncertainty is far more stressful than clear, direct feedback ever will be.

Feedback Is How People Learn

Think about how people actually grow.

They do not improve because of a form filled out once a year. They improve because someone took the time to say, “Here’s what’s working,” and “Here’s where you can do this differently next time.”

Feedback provides:

• Direction

• Context

• Confidence

• Course correction

Without it, performance management becomes reactive instead of developmental. Leaders only speak up when something goes wrong. HR gets pulled in late. Small issues become big ones.

With consistent feedback, performance management becomes part of the rhythm of work, not a dreaded event on the calendar.

Clear Beats Vague Every Time

This is where Tell Them comes in.

One of the core principles we teach is simple. Clear beats vague. Every time.

“You’re doing great” feels nice, but it does not help someone repeat success.“You need to be more proactive” sounds important, but leaves too much room for interpretation.

Clear feedback sounds like:

• “When you sent that follow-up recap after the client meeting, it helped the whole team stay aligned.”

• “For the next project, I need you to flag risks earlier, even if you are not sure yet.”

• “You are strong technically. To grow into the next level, I need to see more ownership in cross-functional conversations.”

This kind of feedback is specific, actionable, and grounded in real work. It gives people something to hold onto.

And yes, it takes more thought. But it also builds trust.

Feedback Is a Two-Way Gift

Performance management works best when feedback is not one-sided.

Employees want to know:

• What am I doing well

• Where should I focus

• How do I grow here

Leaders need to know:

• What is getting in the way

• Where expectations are unclear

• What support is needed

When feedback flows in both directions, it stops feeling like judgment and starts feeling like partnership.

HR plays a critical role here. Creating safe structures. Coaching managers on language.

Normalizing feedback as part of everyday leadership, not something reserved for problems.

Why This Matters More Than Ever

Today’s workforce expects clarity.

People want to know where they stand. They want to understand how their work connects to the bigger picture. They want feedback that helps them develop, not just survive review season.

Organizations that avoid feedback often see:

• Lower engagement

• Performance surprises

• Higher turnover

• Burned-out managers and HR teams

Organizations that treat feedback as a gift see something different.Stronger relationships. Better performance. Fewer surprises.

A Holiday Reframe

So as we head into the season of giving, here is a simple reframe.

Feedback is not something you take away.

It is something you give.

You give someone clarity.

You give them a chance to adjust.

You give them the respect of honesty.

That does not mean every conversation is easy. But it does mean it is worth having.

Bringing This Into Your Performance Management Approach

If performance management feels heavy or broken in your organization, it is often because feedback is missing or misused.

Strong systems do not rely on one annual conversation. They support ongoing dialogue, manager capability, and clear expectations.

At PCG, we help organizations:

• Build feedback into everyday leadership

• Train managers to give clear, human feedback

• Design performance management systems that actually support growth

• Move away from check-the-box reviews toward meaningful conversations

Because when feedback is done well, it stops feeling like a chore and starts feeling like care.

This season, consider giving the gift that lasts longer than anything wrapped in paper.

Tell them.

And watch what happens next.